I then drop off at their door so they can stay sitting in front of their television in their elasticated clothing, generally, so they can increase their gravitational pull.

From memory, I had a chicken chow mein getting chilly in the box on the back of my ped when I got stuck in stationary traffic. Not wanting to be late and lose out on a tip (I was delivering to a regular customer) I bounced up on to the curb, rode 100 metres past a queue of stationary traffic and then turned left into a car park for the block of flats.

I then got busted by a copper.

She had hopped out of a car and run after me (her partner turned up a couple of minutes later in the police car). She was ‘glowing’ a bit and gasping for air when she got to me.

Thinking I was funny, I asked if she was training for a marathon, and I was willing to sponsor her if it was for a good cause. She didn’t even crack a smile and said my riding was dangerous and went mad. I told her to calm down and that my taxes pay her wages. Again, she didn’t laugh and I now have a Court summons for dangerous driving.

I accept that I rode on the curb but didn’t cause any problems to the shoppers and queue for the bus, i.e. no one got hurt. Also, the policewoman shouldn’t have been rude and I think that helps me with defending this. What do you think?

Answer

I think you’re a prize plonker. Not only could you see the hornets’ nest, but you gave it a good kick. Now you’re moaning you have been stung.

Should the policewoman have been angry at having to chase you in the first place? In my view, yes. You rode on the path, that is illegal, and it is ‘dangerous’ on your own evidence, i.e. you were doing it past/through pedestrians.

Dangerous driving carries with it at least a compulsory 12 month disqualification from driving. You should be pleading guilty and putting forward mitigation to try and obtain the most lenient sentence possible.

As for fast food delivery, time to get a bicycle and some padded cycle shorts as you’re about to be disqualified.

Andrew ‘Chef’ Prendergast

Motorcycle Sport & Leisure – June 2024